23rd June 2015.
Might be the happiest day in my life ever. Did a Pregnancy Test and alhamdulillah it was positive. Boleh dikatakan masa ni berada di awangan jugakla. I was hoping to get pregnant as early as day 1 after kawen LOL. I did the test at my rumah sewa at that time, Kenari apartment. My housemates were among the earliest one to know the news.
Mula la kepochi dkt in laws and some of the teachers at my school pun tau. This is the downside okay when u kena usik macam2 zzz.. Semangat dah beli diari hamil masa ni. My estimation due date was on 28 February 2016.
12th July 2015
Abe (my husband) came over to KL. We did the first scan at Maria's clinic Putrajaya. Sadly nothing to be seen. But the doc said maybe it's too early so we can always do another ultrasound later. I was 7 weeks pregnant at that time.
21st July 2015
Did my second scan at mama's clinic. Sadly, nothing to be seen. No heartbeat even when I was 8 weeks preggy. My mama said just get ready for the worst. My pregnancy might not survive but we still have faith in it.
That was the moment I no longer felt that I was a pregnant lady.
25th July 2015
After all the suspense, I experienced spotting and later came the bleeding part T___T. Abe knew it was categorised as "Threatened miscarriage" but he didnt want to let me down.
I went to the labour room as I was bleeding heavily, the doc said my cervix was still sealed nicely maybe it was from my old blood. I went back home with a new hope.
2nd August 2015
Had a hearty breakfast with Abe at Umai Cafe when suddenly I felt sudden cramp around my tummy and it gradually became worse. I tumpah darah ok mcm dalam drama selalu buat tu untuk orang gugur tu. Padahal masa tu plan nk meronda merata but ended up went to the hospital.
I was pushed using a wheelchair and masa tu memang dah rasa xde hope sgt untuk baby selamat. I still remember I can hear the Zohor Azan in my room. Doktor agak lambat masa ni sigh. I mintak dkt nurse utk panggil abe masuk teman huhu..abe did explain to the doc what happened. All the jargons from the medic stuff & maybe doc tu pun cam pelik LOL. It took them around 1 hour to clean everything in my womb. NO D&C was done because I had a complete miscarriage. Doc tunjukla apa yg ada masa tu. It was just a round shape meat yang xde rupa org pun. Nurse sgt supportive & banyak bg semangat masa down T__T .Masa tu specialist pun dtg nk check everything & I was a bit mad when the doc sempat lagi buat revision mana ovari etc masa I tgh sakit gila T___T. I was being monitored for an hour.
Masa tu termenung tengok siling hospital. Ya Allah, punah satu harapan. T___T masa tu blur lagi xnanges mana, cuma sempat mesej GPK skolah ckp MC seminggu sebab keguguran. Balik dari hospital tu hujan la plak, bertambah syahdu. Masuk dlm keta, bahu abe jadi tempat bersandar.
Bermulalah episod menangis tak sudah. Abe xlunch lagi masa tu, da nak dkt pukul 4pm. So masa tunggu abe beli makanan tu, ternampak pulak sorang ayah bergurau senda dengan baby dia. OK BANJIR LAGI T__T masa tu pulak dok pasang lagu opick dalam keta, lagi la syahdu oi.
I gugur hari Ahad, masa tu nanges plak memikirkan abe kena balik KB da esoknya. So after fikir masak2, I wanna go with him to KB. I cant imagine being far away from him when I need him the most. So dgn muka sakit tu, naikla first flight to KB on Monday.
Honestly, it took me some time to accept what happened to us. I was so fragile that I can cry easily. Yelah I still pantang 44 hari tapi without a baby & I felt so sad. T__T. Pegi keja muka kena positif okay. Masa ni muncul lah segala pendapat, maybe kerap travel jadi gugur since we are PJJ, stress ajar year 6 jadi gugur. As stated by the doc, actually miscarriage ni xde definite reason how it can happen. It's like kun fayakun.
So life must go on. Abe planned a vacay for both of us so that we can chill after what had happened.
Dear miscarriage couples,What I must say is, dun feel sad for too long. Have faith in Allah. InsyaAllah He knows what's best for us. Please look on the bright side. At least, we still had the experience of being a pregnant couple. Keep on supporting each other and make lots of Doa. Keep on praying for the best :)
|Pulau Redang gateaway on Sept 2015|
That's all for this blogbuster. Will share about my 2nd pregnancy journey on my next post. Stay tuned. :)